


my love, so deep (it bleeds)

by Nevcolleil



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Cairo Day 2019, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 14:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18448733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevcolleil/pseuds/Nevcolleil
Summary: Officially, as a government agent, Jack learned about vamps about a week before everyone else. He got called back in to Langley - they all did - and taught everything he was told he needed to know about the species.Unofficially, by the time Jack shipped over, no Delta had left an Army base in the Middle East without a full set of stakes, a machete, and a pint of dead man’s blood on his person in the past twenty years.(On a mission for the DXS, Mac and Jack are captured. They can make it out... if Mac will allow himself to feed and heal.But Jack is the only thing available for Mac to feedon.)





	my love, so deep (it bleeds)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Cairo Week, Day Six: Blood Brothers

Vampires can cry.

That’s not a thing that anybody taught Jack. It’s not a thing that anybody ever put in one of their scary stories or monster movies, back when everybody either believed that vamps aren’t real or else pretended to believe it.

Officially, as a government agent, Jack learned about vamps about a week before everyone else. He got called back in to Langley - they all did - and taught everything he was told he needed to know about the species. And vampires’ emotional range didn’t make it into the curriculum.

Unofficially, by the time Jack shipped over, no Delta had left an Army base in the Middle East without a full set of stakes, a machete, and a pint of dead man’s blood on his person in the past twenty years. But they didn’t talk about this there either.Apparently, nobody had wanted Jack to know that even vamps can feel pain. Fear. _Regret_.

Hell, _Jack_ didn’t want Jack to know it - before Mac got turned and it became Jack’s job to know everything there is to know about vampires. 

Vampires can cry.

Come to think of it, Jack would have been perfectly happy to go the rest of his life not knowing that.

But there Mac sits - or crouches, rather. In the corner where he’d fled when Jack tried to approach him. Over there, the meager lighting drifting into their cell shines the brightest, so Jack can see that Mac is breathing so heavily that the whites of his teeth are showing. The tips of his fangs. And there are tears glistening in his bright, blue eyes.

His _preternaturally_ bright blue eyes. 

Jack sits as close as he dares. Mac doesn’t need to breathe at all, and yet he’s panting like he’s going to hyperventilate at any moment. Jack keeps some distance between them as he tries to calm Mac down.

“I can’t- I can’t do that, Jack,” Mac actually pleads, sounding desperate. “Please don’t make me.”

Jack’s stomach just about turns.

“Kid, the last thing I want is to have to _make_ you do anything,” Jack says, unable to keep his voice completely even. God knows Mac’s had enough forced upon him already. That evil bastard Murdoc _made_ Mac - made him this way. Drained Mac nearly dry and then made Mac feed from Murdoc’s own wrist. That’s how vamps turn humans into other vamps.

It makes Jack physically ill to know that now he’s the one who’s going to make Mac feed, no matter how bad Mac doesn’t want to. There’s just no other choice.

“But if you don’t get some blood in you soon, you’re gonna die, Mac,” Jack continues. “You’ll _die _. You get that?”__

__He’s dying already - Jack can see it. He’s half convinced he can _feel_ it in the rabid _thump-thump-thump_ of his own heart. Mac looks paler than normal - which is really pale these days - almost gray. His skin looks ashy; not unnaturally smooth, like silk, like it has since he was turned, when he’s been healthy. Beneath it, Jack can see how the veins in Mac’s forearms and wrists, beneath his rolled up sleeves - and above his collar, in his throat - look abnormally dark, almost muddy instead of faintly, almost imperceptibly blue._ _

__Mac’s pupils are as wide in his eyes as wells, and his claws are sunk deep into the stone walls to either side of him._ _

__“Then I’ll die,” Mac says, almost matter-of-fact. Like that makes any kind of sense. Like that’s even an _option_. _ _

__Jack‘s already shaking his head. “Jack, _let_ me. I _can’t_ -” And now _his_ voice is breaking too. _ _

__Goddamn it, Jack didn’t need to know that Mac’s voice could sound so broken - vampire or not._ _

__“I can’t hurt you, Jack, please,” Mac says again and again. “Not you... Not you.”_ _

__Jack’s heart breaks with him. Because Mac hasn’t gotten it yet, obviously..._ _

__And Jack’s going to have to explain it to him._ _

__“Mac... I hate to break it to you, brother,” Jack says as gently as he can. “But if you don’t feed soon... You’re gonna do a whole lot more than hurt me.”_ _

__When those assholes from Pure Night (or VHVG... or whatever other fanatic anti-vamp fringe group they’re dealing with this time) trapped Mac and Jack down here, they made sure they left Jack nothing to defend himself with should Mac turn on him._ _

__‘ _We heard somebody had a pet vamp on their payroll... going around telling people he’s got a soul,_ ’ Jack remembers one of the goons taunting from the other side of the cell’s massive iron door, before they sealed it. Mac was unconscious at the time - lying in a bloody heap at Jack’s feet. (Jack hadn’t worked his way out of his ropes yet. He couldn’t hold Mac. Couldn’t provide pressure to the worst of his wounds, so they’d heal quicker.) _ _

__It was a small mercy then - that Mac wouldn’t have to remember the things their captors said. Things so similar to what Mac used to say about himself, right after the ritual._ _

__‘ _He does have a soul,_ ’ Jack bothered saying anyway, just in case. ‘ _Same as yours or mine. Better even. Hasn't hurt a single human since he got it back._ ’ And Mac hasn’t - not in any way that he couldn’t have hurt someone before, when he was a human himself. _ _

__‘ _He could have torn all you bozos to pieces, but he didn’t, did he? He helps people. We're here to help_ you _. Stop all y'all from getting your fool selves killed trying to take on the Henriksen Court-_ ’ _ _

__But it was like Jack didn’t even speak._ _

__‘ _I don’t care what funny magic you used on that thing to get it to heel,_ ’ a different goon said, right over him. ‘ _Only way a monster can help a human is by taking a fast walk into a sharp stake._ ’_ _

__' _Yeah,_ ’ said a third man. ' _Wait til that thing wakes up hungry and helps himself to_ you _. Then tell us all about what a better soul you stuck in that meat suit._ ’_ _

__When he and Mac get out of here, Jack vows to hunt each of them down and show them the difference between a human, a vamp and a _monster_._ _

__But in the meantime-_ _

__It _was_ a small mercy that Mac hadn’t heard the slurs spoken about him, as they were being spoken._ _

__But now that they’re approaching the point past which it won’t matter what Mac hears - what Jack says or does - there’s nothing merciful about the way the truth hits Mac. The truth about what his options here _really_ are._ _

__Mac didn’t get it before, so worried about the threat of giving into temptation and taking more from Jack than Jack can give... He forgot what happens to vamps, soulled or unsoulled, when they “die” from not feeding._ _

__“Jack,” he says._ _

__Just that._ _

__Like his throat closes off after that, too full of horror to clear._ _

__“Mac, it’ll be okay-”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“We feed you now, feed you fast... You can control it, Mac. I know you can.”_ _

__“J-Jack-”_ _

__“You don’t even have to drop your fangs on me. You can just- You can just scratch me, man, cut me and-”_ _

__It wasn’t a good idea to mention Mac’s fangs while he’s so overdue for a feeding._ _

__Jack realizes that immediately. Mac’s pupils widen _further_ \- until there’s barely a ring of bright, burning blue rimming the deep, inky black consuming his eyes. Jack hears Mac’s claws elongate - dipping deeper into the walls at his sides. Flecks of stone and pufts of dust rain down from Mac’s curling fists._ _

__Mac’s fangs drop until they’re more than just two tiny tips peeking past the otherwise precise line of his upper teeth. They reach his bottom lip now, thick as human incisors at the top - needlepoint thin and sharp at the ends._ _

__Mac hisses. He hasn’t forgotten himself - not yet. He’s just trying to take the edge off; Jack’s seen him do this before. Mac’s whole body is coiled tight with a tension that’s hardened every muscle in his arms and legs, his abdomen - like he’s a spring doing it’s damnedest not to be sprung._ _

__Jack holds very still. He takes every breath with care and releases each breath with an equal speed and force; he tries to blank his mind._ _

__He’s seen Mac do _all_ of this before - seen everything _vamp_ that’s happened to Mac since the ritual except for Mac actually feeding from another living being. (Since they got him back, Mac’s survived off of nothing but blood packs.)_ _

__Jack’s gotten well used to hiding his reaction to all of it. He’s had to._ _

__Mac’s stopped breathing, but air shudders out of him like a breath when he squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to rein his hunger back in._ _

__When he looks at Jack again, his pupils have shrunken slightly and his whole form seems to have drooped._ _

__“You can’t let me take too much,” he says with a voice riddled with misery - and an obvious, if not reluctant, longing._ _

__“Just- Just as much as I-”_ _

__“I’ll try, Mac,” Jack does his best to promise without lying. They both know that there’s nothing _Jack_ will be able to do, unarmed, here in this cell, to effectively control how much blood Mac takes from him once Mac’s gotten caught up in the thrall of feeding. _ _

__Jack feels riddled with guilt. He swallows. “Just what you need. I’ll try.”_ _

__He doesn’t even register the sound of surface stone crumbling, the brush of rushing air against his face, before Mac is directly by his side, and Jack’s breath hitches._ _

__But there’s no time to waste._ _

__He tugs off his leather cuff and drops it aside, lifting his arms to offer Mac both wrists, and cants his head to the side too, arching his neck - Jack’s not sure how Mac wants to do this. He knows how feeding works, mostly, but since Mac’s never even wanted to _consider_ accepting- consider finding a willing donor to feed from, Jack has no idea what Mac’s preference-_ _

__‘ _None of the above, I guess_ ,’ Jack can only think when Mac reacts like Jack’s splashed him with a big bucket of dead man’s blood._ _

__He curls in on himself, head down and eyes squeezed shut and claws digging into his own thighs, bringing up blood _he_ doesn’t have to spare._ _

__“Hey! Mac, don’t-”_ _

__“Too... much-” Jack can barely hear Mac saying, slurring quietly through his fangs._ _

__“Shit. Okay. Sorry... What do-”_ _

__“Like... Like you said-”_ _

__A scratch then. Jack thinks fast - tries to think _past_ what he knows about vampires now (He doesn’t know of any other vampires who won’t just _feed_ on a person when they feed on one-) _ _

__Jack strips off his shirt._ _

__At least Mac’s reaction to _that_ is comical enough to break a little of the intense mood of the moment._ _

__His eyes snap open, wide, but in the normal way that someone’s eyes widen when they’re just shocked plain stupid by something._ _

__“What the hell are you _doing_?” Mac asks, sounding so scandalized - even through the slur of speaking with his fangs dropped - that Jack has to smile._ _

__“Saw it on tv one time,” Jack explains. “Shoulder’s a good place to get blood if you wanna drink some without having to bite.”_ _

__Jack carefully takes one of Mac’s hands in both of his - needing all his strength to pry Mac’s claws out of Mac’s own flesh. (And even then he probably only manages it because Mac finally gets with the program and lets him.)_ _

__“See?” he says, after he’s used one of Mac’s bloody claws to draw a line across the curve of his own shoulder - the one Mac’s hunched beside._ _

__It leaves a mark no thicker than a papercut, but almost instantly that mark turns deep red as Jack starts to bleed. At one end of the cut, a fat blooddrop wells and slowly starts to slip down Jack’s left bicep._ _

__Jack-_ _

__Jack didn’t think fast _enough__ _

__He’s barely finished speaking that one single syllable before he’s got Mac _straddling his thighs_ and licking and sucking at his shoulder. Mac’s too far gone to care that he’s essentially sitting in Jack’s lap, and the cut Jack made is too long for Mac to just close his mouth over it while he feeds. Beads of blood are constantly escaping him, and Mac has to chase them with his tongue._ _

__That’s. It’s just Jack’s _shoulder_. They’re sitting in a dungeon, basically, all dark and dank and musty - and Mac was beaten unconscious just a couple of hours ago. _ _

__The kid’s terrified. Jack knows that. Mac’s caught up in the thrall right now - everything focused on feeding - so his hands don’t hesitate to grab at Jack, at Jack’s wrists... and Jack’s other shoulder and at his left arm at the elbow, to hold Jack still - but he’s terrified. Nevermind Jack’s ongoing... difficulties, where it comes to close proximity to Mac, there is nothing - _nothing_ \- sexy about his partner feeling frightened or in pain._ _

__But._ _

__But licking and sucking are licking and sucking... Mac’s mouth is hot, with the fever of his hunger, on Jack’s skin, and his tongue is wet with Jack’s blood. Mac’s chest is pressed up against Jack’s naked chest, _he’s all but sitting in Jack’s lap_ , the way he’s straddling Jack’s thighs, and he’s not sitting still, either. He’s constantly moving - the way Jack’s seen other vamps move while they feed: in a thousand tiny jerks and twitches, too fast for the human eye to track, so that it sort of looks like Mac is vibrating to the thrum of the blood running through the veins he’s feeding from._ _

__Sort of feels like it too._ _

__When Jack regains his breath, it’s only for it to leave him again in a curse that sounds punched out of him more than spoken._ _

__“Fuck...”_ _

__And this is only the beginning. Jack’s aware of that before Mac snaps out of his trance suddenly; pulls back, lips stained-_ _

__Jack heart trips in his chest. Mac’s teeth and fangs and lips are stained bloodred - _Jack’s_ blood-red. There’s even smudges of the stuff on Mac’s chin, on his cheek._ _

__Vertigo swoops through Jack’s stomach, but he knew the cut he made wouldn’t be enough. Especially not with Mac licking at it, his saliva working to seal shut the wound even as Mac mouths desperately at it, trying to keep it open._ _

__(‘ _They heal their victims as they feed_?’ Jack remembers hearing someone ask, during the first crash course he ever took on vampirism. It was some punk who’d just joined the Deltas. Jack’s sergeant looked at the kid and grinned. ‘ _Victims. Donors. It’s their nature’s way of putting their food source on tap._ ’)_ _

__Jack shakes it off, even as Mac starts breathing unnecessarily again._ _

__“I need- Jack, it’s not enough.”_ _

__“I know, Mac,” Jack says. Curls his right arm around Mac’s torso so he can rub Mac’s back in a gesture of comfort, despite the awkwardness of doing it under the circumstances. Jack’s face burns. “It’s alright.”_ _

__“Just open up another one,” he says when Mac just stares at him through those strange, blood-starved eyes. He wonders if Mac finds it weird or reassuring that he doesn’t look away - from the eyes or the bloodstains or any of it. Does Mac even notice? “It’s alright.”_ _

__“I don’t trust myself,” Mac admits._ _

__But his hands are already on Jack’s shoulders - one curled so his claws are poised right where they need to be to slice Jack’s skin again._ _

__Fuck. The things Jack would do for this kid..._ _

__The things Jack _wants_ to do for him._ _

__Jack brings his right hand back around and wraps its around Mac’s._ _

__“L-lucky you, I got trust enough for the both of us,” he says._ _

__“Jack...”_ _

__Jack presses down on Mac’s fingers, and Mac lets him, until he feels Mac’s claws dig three short, less shallow cuts into Jack’s shoulder on top of and to either side of the original one._ _

__And this time - _this _time - when the blood pulls Mac back under, it takes him down deep. The difference is obvious... and immediate.___ _

____Mac makes a sound half-way between a human moan and something distinctively otherwise, then he genuinely begins to take what he needs from Jack._ _ _ _

____The experience of it drags Jack down pretty deep as well. Into feelings he’s fought hard to tame and to rise above for a long time now... They’re impossible to fully ignore with Mac vibrating there in his lap again, mouth angled over Jack’s shoulder in such a way that his fangs brush Jack’s skin every time he moves his lips to swallow, instead of pricking Jack with their sharp tips._ _ _ _

____Jack’s left fist is curled in the back of Mac’s shirt. His right is tangled up in the hair at the nape of Mac’s neck._ _ _ _

____“It’s alright,” Jack repeats himself, even though the sounds Mac’s making now - his carefully grasping hands - sound and feel anything but miserable at the moment. “It’s alright, Mac. I got you.”_ _ _ _

____He feels like he does - like _he_ has _Mac_ at _his_ mercy, not the other way around. All Jack wants to do is to avoid letting this thing- this perfectly natural thing that Mac has to do (as a vampire) hurt Mac any more than it already has. And Jack tries his damnedest to pretend that his own body isn’t reacting just as naturally to the process. (There’s a reason why blood bars are so frickin’ popular these days that you can’t turn a street corner without driving past one.)_ _ _ _

____But Jack was probably doomed the second Mac agreed to feed. The second those assholes sealed them in here._ _ _ _

____Hell. The gig was probably up as soon as Jack realized the world hadn’t turned completely on its head - that, vamp or not, Jack is still more afraid _for_ Mac than he could ever be of him. That was maybe a couple of months after they got Mac back._ _ _ _

____Mac doesn’t have to be coaxed into opening up new cuts the next time he needs to. He must have finally taken enough blood for it to start working through his system, and now his hunger _really_ has him in its thrall. Before he’s even taken his mouth off of Jack’s left shoulder, his claws snick over Jack’s right, and before Jack’s finished hissing in response, Mac is shifting his weight in Jack’s lap. His right hand slips behind Jack’s head and turns it to give Mac more room to feed from that side of Jack now._ _ _ _

____Jack’s not sure if Mac mistakes Jack’s whimper as one of pain - or if he knows the truth... if he’s always known it. Or if Jack just imagines that the way Mac’s vice-like grip on the back of Jack’s neck - claws carefully splayed so that they don’t cut him - softens is some kind of apology._ _ _ _

____Mac seems to be clearly past the point of grasping the concept of regret, much less the ability to express it. To express anything besides _need_ \- which he expresses loud and clear, no longer waiting for Jack’s blood to well up in his wounds and be sucked from his skin. Mac sucks at each cut with enough force that Jack can feel the blood being drawn from him - enough that he’s going to have little rings of bruises in the shape of Mac’s mouth all over him once this is done, if Mac’s saliva doesn’t heal those too, same as the cuts._ _ _ _

____It’s intoxicating. Jack’s heard that word used to describe the sensation of being fed on, and now he knows how true it is. His head swims, his breath shallows. Each time Mac shifts in his lap, presses into his chest more firmly, Jack loses track of which of them has the heartbeat and which of them is causing the steady thrum that makes Jack feel as though he might vibrate right out of his skin at any moment._ _ _ _

____And the harder Mac feeds, the faster the cuts seal themselves - the harder Mac feeds still, on and on in a maddening cycle. Mac switches between Jack’s shoulders until Jack’s breathy whimpers and tiny gasps _do_ come from pain, at least in part._ _ _ _

____Then he starts making his cuts across Jack’s chest._ _ _ _

____“Oh, Mac...”_ _ _ _

____That’s the limit. That’s the point past which Jack knows no attempt he could possibly make to carry on this - granted, shaky - charade he’s been carrying on for so long, pretending that he hasn’t gone completely gaga for his partner, could survive._ _ _ _

____So why bother?_ _ _ _

____“Oh, Mac... I’m sorry, ba- buddy,” Jack mumbles, before Mac’s mouth closes over a patch of skin maybe an inch away from Jack’s left nipple, and Jack moans. “F-fuck...”_ _ _ _

____Jack is squirming, hips making helpless little aborted motions each time Mac shifts - except suddenly Mac is dropping more heavily into Jack’s lap as he tires quickly of how little blood he can actually draw from Jack’s chest without cutting into him deeper._ _ _ _

____Instead the hand at the back of Jack’s neck moves, and fingers curl in what hair there is at the top of Jack’s head to curl into, and then Mac is tipping Jack’s head back, arching his throat forward. The sound Mac makes when Jack gasps and swallows is _obscene_._ _ _ _

____And this time, when Jack’s hips twitch upwards... Mac’s hips rolls downwards. Just enough. Just so that Jack’s gasp morphs immediately into a stuttering moan._ _ _ _

____“J-Jack...” Mac comes back to himself long enough to speak Jack’s name and sound halfway cognizant of doing it. “I can’t- I want-”_ _ _ _

____Jack doesn’t have to hear the whole question to know his answer._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, yeah...” he says eagerly, quietly. Like the dark corners of their dank little cell are listening to Jack admitting, finally and forever, to his deepest desires. “Yeah,” Jack says breathlessly. “Whatever you want, Mac. It’s yours. Do it, man.”_ _ _ _

____Mac moans, nosing at the fluttering bob of Jack’s Adam’s apple, even as he says, “No, Jack- You don’t understand. I want to-”_ _ _ _

____He can’t seem to put what he wants into words - but then, words aren’t exactly needed with the way his hips jerk suddenly, grinding the bulge of his cock, as hard in his jeans as Jack’s is in his own, up against Jack’s belly._ _ _ _

____“Fuck, yes,” Jack groans. “I want it, too, Mac. I promise. It’s alright. Whatever you want... whatever you need, it’s alright.”_ _ _ _

____Mac shudders, his plaintive “ _Jack_...” sounding more than just a little skeptical._ _ _ _

____But he doesn’t hold back much longer. He noses around the side of Jack’s neck, and then he moves so quickly, Jack’s anticipation-clouded brain can’t quite keep up with what comes first - the sting as Mac pierces Jack’s skin... Mac’s soft lips, warm with Jack’s blood, positioning themselves over a vein... the surreal sensation of Mac’s fangs slipping into Jack’s flesh, the weird feeling of having his blood drawn from him._ _ _ _

____Jack hadn’t known that you can _feel_ your blood being taken with a vampire’s fangs. And even with all of the things he’s heard and read about, he hadn’t known that the sensation of being fed upon would feel so... intimate. So personal. Pleasurable, yes - but this..._ _ _ _

____Mac’s already pushing their hips together, providing a delicious friction Jack’s been hungering for now for what feels like ages, but he’s only half aware of it. Being locked in Mac’s unbreakable embrace - feeling Mac’s mouth on his throat, the feeling of Mac taking what he needs from Jack-_ _ _ _

____Those sensations overwhelm Jack, and in a ridiculously short amount of time, Jack’s crying out, loud, whole body jerking beneath Mac and struggling desperately to meet the powerful rolls of Mac’s hips down and against him._ _ _ _

____Mac-_ _ _ _

____There’s no other way Jack can think of to put this:_ _ _ _

____Mac _loses his shit_._ _ _ _

____The sound he makes around the fangs buried in Jack’s neck is not human - _at all_ \- and yet Jack’s pretty sure he reads exactly what Mac is feeling in the guttural whine that rises out of him. He thrusts against Jack twice, hard enough that Jack can’t hold back a small whimper of discomfort, before dropping his hands to Jack’s hips, sliding them down under Jack’s ass - basically lifting Jack off of the ground while he’s still kneeling over Jack’s lap. He grinds Jack up against him, vibrating all over, still feeding from Jack in lusty sips._ _ _ _

____“Oh, Mac... Oh, Mac, yes,” Jack slurs out, feeling whoozy from-_ _ _ _

____From all of it, really. It’s not just the feeding taking its toll. It’s the adrenaline, the pleasure, the pain - the exhiliration of doing something intense and unpredictable that he’s never done before. The _euphoria_ Jack feels, when Mac finds his own orgasm, that still inhuman sound coming from him merging with sounds that are all too human._ _ _ _

____“Mac, please-” Jack begins to beg - before he’s sure what he’s begging _for_. More? Less? For this all not to have been some sort of strange but sexy fever dream, the world around Jack feeling fuzzy and unsubstantial the way dreams do._ _ _ _

____Not that this could even be one of Jack’s dreams - Jack always dies in those._ _ _ _

____And Jack feels so _good_ with Mac resting now in Jack’s lap, letting Jack wrap him up in a loose embrace. Mac is mostly still now that he’s fed _well_ , only his lips still moving against Jack’s skin - his lips and his hands. One is stroking Jack’s chest and the other is petting the back of Jack’s head - comforting, off-handed gestures like Mac’s not even aware he’s making them._ _ _ _

____“Mac... sweetheart...” Jack mumbles softly when Mac doesn’t respond to-_ _ _ _

____Something._ _ _ _

____Whatever Jack had been saying a moment before, Jack suddenly can’t remember._ _ _ _

____The world has become _too_ fuzzy for Jack to concentrate on something difficult like... like speech. Or like keeping his eyes open. All he sees is dark spots when he forces his eyes open anyways, and he doesn’t have to see Mac to know that Mac is okay. He can still feel Mac under his hands when he bats lightly - weakly - at his boy’s back, just to remind himself that Mac is there. _ _ _ _

____Jack can even kind of hear Mac. His voice sounds like it’s coming from the other end of a long tunnel, rather than right there next to Jack, but Jack can hear it._ _ _ _

____“Jack...” Mac says softly. And then, suddenly, more vividly: _Jack_?! Oh god-”_ _ _ _

____Jack absolutely intends to answer him..._ _ _ _

____But those dark spots get much darker, and then Jack can’t say, or hear, or feel anything at all._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____By the time Jack comes to, it’s with a breathing mask over his face and a needle in his arm._ _ _ _

____There’s a Phoenix tech monitoring the little machines she’s got Jack hooked up to, and agents passing by the hole in the wall on the other side of the cell that seems to have replaced the cell’s door. What used to be the cell’s door is lying nearby, torn off its hinges._ _ _ _

____This means whoever grabbed him and Mac has been neutralized, and Jack has torn feelings about that. On the one hand, he hadn’t been idly thinking when he’d planned on giving those guys a glimpse of _real_ monstrosity as soon as he and Mac got out of here; on the other, Jack doubts - with the way he’s feeling - that he’d have had the strength to battle even one of them with the ferocity of something more than a kitten._ _ _ _

____Either way, with Phoenix people milling around and Matty striding into Jack’s field of vision, the assholes who’d abducted Jack’s partner have actually become the least of Jack’s concerns. His partner is a much more pressing issue._ _ _ _

____Specifically, where the hell Mac is and what the hell happened to him after Jack checked out._ _ _ _

____“Ma-” Jack begins to say, and he doesn’t even have to utter the second consonant in the name for Matty to know who he’s asking for._ _ _ _

____“He left as soon as we were able to get a medical technician to you,” Matty says, voice and face even more carefully schooled than Matty’s voice and expressions always are. “He wanted me to assure you that he stayed until he was sure you were safe and being taken care of.”_ _ _ _

____“ _He wan_ \- Are you fucking-” Jack tries to rage appropriately against the ridiculous notion behind Mac’s having made such a request, but finds the breathing mask restrictive._ _ _ _

____So he rips it off, ignoring the med tech’s complaints, eyes on Matty and the tension Jack knows her well enough to see sitting there just behind the surface of that carefully constructed calm of hers._ _ _ _

____“ _Are you fucking kidding me_?” Jack continues, when he can sit up and gesture more or less freely, at least with the arm not currently playing pin cushion. “He wanted you to _assure_ me? What is that even supposed to mean?” But of course Jack knows, heart picking up on what his mind’s sluggishly figuring out - the little machine watching over him making its little beeps faster in response. “We’re partners, he- He’s _Mac_. I don’t need to be _assured_ of any damned thing,” Jack states firmly._ _ _ _

____The difference is subtle, but Jack can clearly see some of the tension draining out of Matty’s blank face and level stance._ _ _ _

____“What I want to know is who’s taking care of _him_?” Jack asks, as urgently as he feels. “Is _he_ safe? Did you have him looked over before he took off out of here?”_ _ _ _

____“Of course I did, Jack,” Matty snaps, tone adding the words Matty won’t dignify by speaking: ‘Same as I always have after a mission.’_ _ _ _

____Matty has alway taken Mac’s safety just as seriously as Jack. Insofar that it’s possible for anyone to take Mac’s safety as seriously as Jack... Mac’s change didn’t change anything about that, and Jack realizes how Matty might find his insinuating that walking in on... what Jack must have looked like when Matty and the team walked in _did_. But he had to hear it._ _ _ _

____“Whatever the Sons of Sunlight did to him before you fed him-”_ _ _ _

____Despite everything, Jack can’t hold back his scoff at hearing the assholes’ actual name._ _ _ _

____Matty loses more tension still._ _ _ _

____She’s still staring at Jack with a severe, unerving stare, though, as she says, “He was fully recovered by the time we got here. It doesn’t look like he had much trouble incapacitating the Sons who remained in the compound after he’d healed.”_ _ _ _

____At Jack’s open mouth, Matty continues: “And he didn’t have to really hurt any of them to do it. Much. There were no casualties.”_ _ _ _

____Jack’s mouth closes, and so does his eyes on a relieved sigh._ _ _ _

____Mac’s never _liked_ hurting people, of course. But the guilt he feels when he has to these days is understandably amplified by his issues with his time as a soulless vamp. If he’d had to hurt someone after how horrified he’d been having to feed off of Jack, and Jack’s obviously less than ideal reaction to the experience-_ _ _ _

____“Good. That’s good,” Jack says._ _ _ _

____“ _That’s_ not why Mac took out of here like someone was trying to talk him into sunbathing in his birthday suit in front of witnesses,” Matty says instantly, drawing Jack’s eyes back open and back to her._ _ _ _

____He’s not shocked to see that her cool facade has now completely fallen away, or the level of concern revealed now that it’s gone - but he is surprised by how much of that concern is leveled at _him_._ _ _ _

____Jack’s eyes drop to where Matty’s have strayed purposefully to and away from - to the barely healed cuts and dark bruises (the _hickeys_ ) that cover what Jack can see of his own shoulders and chest, and he feels his face burn._ _ _ _

____“Hey, now, this- This isn’t... as bad as it looks,” Jack says._ _ _ _

____“ _This_ looks like Mac snacked on you until you were too weak to fight him off from feeding on you full-stop,” Matty says plainly._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, _no_ ,” Jack responds immediately and _definitively_. He forgets the needle and monitor cables on his arm and nearly rips loose from them when he points at Matty. “You know better than that. First of all, human, vampire - I’m _always_ ‘too weak’ to fight him off from doing whatever the hell he wants-”_ _ _ _

____“Certified human _vampire hunter_ , vampire, Jack,” Matty argues. “You could have stopped him if-”_ _ _ _

____“If I didn’t mind hurtin’ him,” Jack doesn’t let her finish. “Which I _do_. And second, even if feedin’ offa me hadn’t been my idea, I wouldn't _ever_ have to fight Mac because the kid would sooner walk into a stake than do anything to hurt anybody who don’t deserve it, much less anybody on his own team, you _know_ that.”_ _ _ _

____“Your idea?” Matty asks, zeroing in on that little detail._ _ _ _

____“He was gonna _die_ if he didn’t get some blood in him, Mathilda,” Jack says, unable to keep everything he feels about that from announcing itself in the tremor of his voice. “This,” Jack says, gesturing to the bites and hickeys (-and, okay, the fingerprint bruises do look a little like Mac had restrained Jack while he’d fed from him... but if Jack’s not doing such a hot job of containing his emotions right now, it’s best he not think about those and give away how he feels about _that_ ) “was him tryin’ to avoid having to full-out bite me.”_ _ _ _

____“Well, obviously that attempt was unsuccessful,” Matty says, holding up a hand before Jack can get offended on Mac’s behalf again - but stopping him with the softening of her eyes more than anything. “Jack, when TAC first got here, you’d lost enough blood that Mac had opened up a vein - one of _his_ veins, Jack; he’d thought he’d taken too much for you to live, and he was ready to turn you.”_ _ _ _

____The little machine beeps loudly._ _ _ _

____“He hadn’t,” Matty clarifies - not entirely helping, since that’s not really the part of what she’d said that has Jack’s pulse racing. “He was just panicking. But he’d obviously lost enough control that the possibility made sense to him, and, Jack-”_ _ _ _

____“He thinks I’ve got to hate him now,” Jack guesses._ _ _ _

____Matty nods, and Jack is relieved to see _her_ relief. Glad to see that they’re both on the same page as to what danger this incident has exposed. Because it’s certainly not Mac. _ _ _ _

____“I think so. And I’m betting he’s not his own biggest fan right now either.”_ _ _ _

____“I’ve got to-”_ _ _ _

____“After that bag is empty,” Matty says, staring Jack down when he so much as looks like he might argue. “I mean it. And you and Mac are benched until you’ve come back in for at least a couple more.”_ _ _ _

____Jack nods. He’ll agree to anything if it gets him out of here and on Mac’s trail with a minimum of fuss._ _ _ _

____“Absolutely,” he promises._ _ _ _

____So maybe Matty’s skepticism is warranted, based on her past experiences when it comes to Jack promising to take care of himself._ _ _ _

____But Jack still pouts when Matty says, “Maybe we oughtta make that this bag and one more.”_ _ _ _

____At least Matty vows to help Jack locate Mac once he’s been cleared to go, which is no small favor. Jack has a sinking feeling that he’s going to need all the help he can get._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____To Jack’s pleasant surprise - and growing dread - it takes Matty a moment to locate Mac and pass along the word that Mac’s promised not to budge until Jack can come and speak to him. He’s at his house, not hiding out in some tree in some unpopulated area of wilderness outside of Los Angeles proper, where he’s fled once before since they soulled him._ _ _ _

____Jack’s initial response to the news is, “Sweet! Tell him I’ll be there in an hour.” But as he nears Mac’s home, that feeling sets in. The feeling Jack gets whenever something potentially difficult turns out to be entirely too easy. Ninety-nine percent of the time, Jack’s feeling is a heads-up, because difficult things that _look_ easy are almost never, ever so._ _ _ _

____Sure enough, as Jack steps up to the door, Mac yells at him from the other side of it to come in, it’s open._ _ _ _

____Like Jack wasn’t just gonna waltz in like he owns the place, like he always does. (Mac’s bad about answering his door in a timely, nothing-tragic-has-happened-to-me fashion, and he told Jack long ago that he’d prefer for Jack to just barge in rather than make a scene once he’s convinced that Mac is dead inside because he didn’t hear Jack knock the first five times.)_ _ _ _

____Then Jack follows Mac’s voice down the hall into the living room, and-_ _ _ _

____“What the _fuck_ is this?” Jack asks, freezing where he stands._ _ _ _

____Because he sees, sitting on the sofa table nearby - while Mac stands on the complete opposite side of the room, face so carefully, heartbreakingly blank, but eyes wide - the syringe, full of a dark, muddy-red colored substance Jack knows can only be one thing._ _ _ _

____Mac’s voice is absolutely, awfully neutral and calm. Like he expected Jack’s reaction and he’s rehearsed his response._ _ _ _

____Jack doesn’t even want to hear it._ _ _ _

____“After what happened in that cell, I thought it would help if-”_ _ _ _

____“How do you even _have_ this?” Jack demands, picking the syringe up carefully between two fingers. “ _Why_ do you have this? Who gave it to you?”_ _ _ _

____This is a very important conversation they’re about to have. But Jack can absolutely schedule a second, less pleasant visit for right after this one, as soon as Mac gives him a name._ _ _ _

____“Jack,” Mac just says. And: “I had it just in case.”_ _ _ _

____“Did you have it just in case some other vamps came here looking for trouble?” Jack continues, recognizing that ‘Jack’ as the one that means Mac isn’t going to answer the last question Jack asked him. “Huh? Did you? Because that’s the only acceptable ‘just in case’ scenario we’re talking about here.”_ _ _ _

____Mac’s eyes are so, so, blue, and damned it’s good to see that healthy glow on his pale, perfect skin. Rather than distract Jack from their conversation, however, the sight of Mac’s restored health makes Jack suddenly, almost _senselessly_ angry to think that Mac would even consider returning himself to the condition he was in down in that cell - or worse - for any reason. _Especially_ Jack._ _ _ _

____“I lost it down there, Jack,” Mac says it like he’s signing his own death warrant. Which is _really_ not an expression that Jack should have let enter his brain after the day’s events and this ridiculous stunt Mac is pulling. “I lost all control. I-” Mac takes an unnecessary, shuddering breath and shudders with it, blurring a little in Jack’s sight with the strength of his tremors. “God, I almost _drained_ you-”_ _ _ _

____He looks like he’s going to cry again, and that is _really_ not a thing Jack needs to see twice in his lifetime._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, and you _didn’t_ ,” he says, raising the syringe and continuing before Mac can argue any further than with the scathing, miserable little laugh he directs at himself. “One close call - which was _not_ your fault, by the way - and you really thought I’d need this? That I’d _want_ it??”_ _ _ _

____“ _I_ wanted it,” Mac says back, fiercely. “I can’t lose control with you like that again, Jack. I wanted to be sure that if I did, it would be a fair fight this time.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay...” Jack says._ _ _ _

____Okay._ _ _ _

____That is _quite_ enough._ _ _ _

____“Now that you’ve admitted that I’m irresistable,” Jack says, “hold that thought.”_ _ _ _

____And he walks purposefully towards Mac’s kitchen._ _ _ _

____“Jack...” Mac says, as if he has _any_ right to take _that_ tone with Jack after this._ _ _ _

____Jack bangs through a couple of Mac’s cabinets until he finds a small metal pot of the the right size and sets it on one of Mac’s burners, then he flicks on the heat._ _ _ _

____“Jack.”_ _ _ _

____Jack pushes the plunger on the syringe and shoots the foul dead man’s blood inside of it into the pot, then tosses in the syringe as well for good measure, banging through a couple more cabinets until he has the pot’s matching lid to put over it._ _ _ _

____“Jack! What the hell do you think-”_ _ _ _

____He’s appeared at Jack’s side. Faster than a human could, of course, him not being human. And Jack can see how Mac catches the way Jack’s heartrate increases, and see too how Mac _misinterprets_ the reason Jack’s heartrate increases... Looking somehow even more miserable than he’s already been, sitting here waiting for Jack - presumably - to come and, Jack doesn’t even know. Tell him he hates him for not dying on Jack, the worst possible thing he could ever, ever do? Tell him Jack doesn’t trust him anymore, when now Jack knows Mac would rather do the worst possible thing that _Mac_ can imagine doing, just to save him?_ _ _ _

____“I’m not having this conversation with you with _that_ in this house,” Jack says simply, pointing at the pot. He lifts the lid just enough to see the color and the bubbliness of the liquid inside, before flicking the heat off again and grabbing the pot. Then he walks it over the sink, opens the window above, and pushes out the windowscreen in order to toss the pot out of the window._ _ _ _

____“Oh my _god_ , Jack, _are you crazy?_ ” And with his wide eyes, running his hands through his hair like he does sometimes when he’s caught off-guard, Mac looks like he thinks Jack is the crazy one - even though he had a literal poison, poisonous to only him, sitting out in plain sight so Jack could use it on him during their talk if the need arose._ _ _ _

____It’s adorable in a way Jack will think about later, when he’s not busy making a kind of important point._ _ _ _

____“I’ll clean it up later,” he promises._ _ _ _

____“That’s not the-” Mac stutters. “Why would you-”_ _ _ _

____And then Mac goes quiet, goes still, because at the speed vampires move, even though Jack’s moving at his fastest, Mac easily picks up on the fact that Jack is lunging at him before Jack’s even close to touching him._ _ _ _

____Mac doesn’t react at all, in fact, until Jack does touch him - hands framing that perfect face - and then presses his lips to Mac’s._ _ _ _

____Then Mac’s tremors begin again. Tiny, constant, almost imperceptible shakes coordinating to feel like one steady buzz beneath Jack’s hands and lips. His mouth drops open, and not to give Jack access._ _ _ _

____Jack pulls back and gives him a moment. Looks into those wide, unnaturally bright, beautiful eyes, hiding nothing he usually guards in his expression whenever he looks at Mac, especially when he’s looking straight at him. Stays strong and doesn’t even entertain the thought that he’s got this wrong. That Mac’s reaction as he fed from Jack was purely lust born of the act of feeding - totally impersonal. That his desperation when he thought he might lose Jack was friendship, partnership. That feeling of family each of them share with the rest of the team and that Jack himself has tried so hard to feel exclusively when it comes to Mac._ _ _ _

____Jack made it his job to know everything there is to know about vamps once Mac became one. He made it his duty to know everything there is to know about Mac as a vamp..._ _ _ _

____And Jack knows that Mac would never turn a friend, a member of his family, even if it was to keep them around. Not without their full and confirmed consent. He’s said it himself - what Murdoc did to him, Mac thinks, is the worst thing any living being could ever do to another._ _ _ _

____It would take even more than the love for a friend, a brother, to make Mac so crazy with fear of losing someone that he’d set aside the fear of inflicting that same struggle on someone else._ _ _ _

____Maybe something as intense, as helpless and as terrifying as another kind of love entirely._ _ _ _

____Jack looks at Mac letting that love show plain as day on his face._ _ _ _

____Mac looks back at him... and eventually begins to still._ _ _ _

____“I- I tried, Jack.”_ _ _ _

____“I know you did, Mac.”_ _ _ _

____“I didn’t know how close you could get to... before it would be too late to do anything. And I know it would have been selfish if I’d gone through with it, alright? I know that. I-”_ _ _ _

____All of this spills out of Mac until Jack places another kiss, brief and butterfly-light this time, on Mac’s lips to stem the flow._ _ _ _

____“Love’s selfish, man,” Jack says - lets himself say it. If Mac could face his fears to feed from Jack and nearly to turn him, Jack can man up and let go of the fear that’s surrounded this secret of his all this time. “You think I don’t know how much you hate just the idea of turning somebody you care about?” Jack asks. “I know. But if it had been necessary down in that cell... if it ever became necessary again... I’d want it. I’d want you to do it if it meant the difference between me staying with you and leaving you out here in the world without me at your back.”_ _ _ _

____That’s a conversation in itself - Jack’s feelings about being turned. One they should have had a long time ago. Would have, surely, if Jack had ever thought of a way to say ‘I wanna be with you forever, even if I gotta die to do it’ without giving away all the ways he’s wanted to be with Mac for years now._ _ _ _

____“Jack, that’s-” Mac instantly begins to protest, looking upset at just the suggestion of Jack choosing the life Mac was forced into over a human death. (Upset and the way he’d looked the first time Jack had offered to let Mac feed on him. Before he’d thought up all the thousands of reasons why he thought he should’t.)_ _ _ _

____“You can’t mean that. The ritual is _not_ a sure bet. You know that. It _barely_ just worked for me.”_ _ _ _

____Jack shrugs. “Lightning strikes twice sometimes, man. Either way, I’d still be dead,” Jack says. “It’d at least be worth the shot.”_ _ _ _

____Mac doesn’t bother bringing up the fact that if Jack died for good during the ritual, everything they know about the magic and mythology involved means they can be pretty sure that Jack would damn his soul in the process. The same way Jack knows Mac’s issues with being a vamp, Mac knows what Jack thinks about where his own soul is already going after all of the things that Jack’s done in his human life._ _ _ _

____“Even if it worked, Jack, you’d be a mo-” Mac begins, but quickly heeds the expression that’s no doubt on Jack’s face and goes a different way. “You wouldn’t be human anymore. You wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that only humans can do...”_ _ _ _

____“What, like stay out in the sun for more than four hours at a time? Sleep more than a coupla hours at a time? So I’ll surf at night,” Jack scoffs, trying to walk that fine line between pretending he doesn’t understand all that Mac’s lost by becoming a vamp and making it clear to Mac that he really is willing to make the trade when the time comes._ _ _ _

____“Like have a ‘bunch of little Daltons running around’,” Mac says, with a look on his face like he’s just won the argument and couldn’t be less happy about it. “You know that vampires can... they can reach-” Mac continues awkwardly, hesitating to say the words - but glancing down between the two of them in a way that makes his meaning obvious._ _ _ _

____Vampires can blush too - Jack already knew that one. Instead of red or pink, Mac’s face goes faintly blue when he’s embarrassed or thinking sexy thoughts; Jack’s still getting used to it._ _ _ _

____He’s sure he’ll be getting used to it much faster now that he has the opportunity to be _why_ Mac’s cheeks take on that bluish tint._ _ _ _

____Jack ducks a little to catch Mac’s eye and waggles his eyebrows, to keep lightening the mood. “Well, I know they can now,” he says, closing the short step between them to bring their bodies even closer._ _ _ _

____Mac’s face stays blue, but in more than one way. “But it’s not the same,” Mac says. “There’s no- There’s no way you could have kids if I’d done this to you.”_ _ _ _

____“If you had _had_ to save me by making me a vamp like you,” Jack says more seriously, rejecting the blame-filled way Mac described the decision he’d thought he would have to make, “we’d just have to get creative. I guess vampires aren’t high up the 'fit to adopt’ list, right? But I’m sure if we ever got to wanting a couple of little ones running around, we could figure something out. Matty’d help us. And Riley...”_ _ _ _

____Jack keeps talking, letting Mac work through the new shock that’s finally wiped everything else off of his face - not missing that Jack talking in terms of ‘we’ is what did it. No fear, Jack had decided, after all. And no more hiding._ _ _ _

____“And, hey, since you didn’t actually have to go through with it just yet, we’ve got time now. We can go to one of those places where they’ll freeze all the little Jack Daltons we could ever need and store ‘em til-”_ _ _ _

____Mac lunges at Jack next._ _ _ _

____A lot more carefully - there wasn’t any danger in Jack coming at Mac of Jack breaking Mac with just the force of the speed he can move at - and from a closer range, so Mac doesn’t lunge far. But there’s the same outcome: Jack’s lips and Mac’s pressed together, only Jack opens up for the kiss as soon as Mac initiates it, melts against the other man. (Mac _is_ still a man - he’s just a vampire _and_ a man. Somehow Jack’s gonna get that through to him.)_ _ _ _

____Mac starts vibrating again, but Jack has reason to hope it’s a _happy_ kind of vibrating._ _ _ _

____Well. He _asks_ Mac if it’s a happy kind of vibrating... and Mac doesn’t say no._ _ _ _

____“Am I- Jesus, Jack, I don’t _vibrate_ ,” Mac says, mouth still touching Jack’s, face going subtly blue again._ _ _ _

____And Jack’s familiar with that particular way Mac rolls his eyes at Jack - the way the corners of Mac’s lips twitch like that. Even if he hasn’t seen either of those reactions from Mac in a long while._ _ _ _

____Mac only ever used to react to Jack’s teasing that way when he was feeling playful. Comfortable. _Happy_._ _ _ _

____Jack grins into their kiss._ _ _ _

____“Oh, yeah? Well what do vampires call it?” Jack asks._ _ _ _

____He hopes he has a lot to learn._ _ _ _


End file.
